it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
