I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you win again, gameday.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
