Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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