Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
