we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
is it fun? or sober?
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