I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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