I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
