I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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