i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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