Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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