oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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