I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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