i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
