Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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