discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She told me I should be a condom model.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
