I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
