I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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