Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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