I'm really into asian looking animals
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
NoShamevember. You game?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
