Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
