He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
