i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
