Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize