Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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