I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Drake has all the answers
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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