what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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