i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
