Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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