I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
