i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
