saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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