sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
