I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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