WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize