apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
