the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am one with the molecules
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
