Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
