question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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