I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize