just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
vagina is talking i cant
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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