it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
