i wish my penis had a tongue
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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