a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
