Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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