i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
