But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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