i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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