Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
