dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
