Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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