I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
