i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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