Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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