its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
